Bard - Dreamer - RPG Enthusiast

Progress and Moving

2011-04-24T17:54:00.001-07:00

This Monday will be week 3 of the Strength building phase of BodyRx. I am feeling bigger, and gained some weight, but it’s to be expected when you’re building muscle. Also, I got hungry again, so I think the muscle is working! My waist is still thinning and my back has more bones sticking out. My arms and legs are looking more like they did in High School. It’s weird. I’m excited!

I am moving out of my Parents house and in with a friend who lives about ten minutes away (for those locals who read me, it’s Jarvis. Yes, I’m going to be living with the hipster gaming GOD. This is not going to suck). It’s time for me to get out and find someone to love on (be in love with, make love, something lovey with a girl). Well at least have great sex and friendship. I no longer feel the need to fit the gamer nerd stereotype. Big boy pants activate! Form of… an available single adult!

I am VERY comfortable and things with my parents are great. That’s probably why I feel I need to make this decision NOW. I am not going to find my next love living with my parents. It limits the dating options. Also, I don’t think the financial situation with the house and my parents retirement is feasible. They need to make better plans and my staying here is giving them the excuse to stick it out. This is not the time to be comfortable! This is really hard for me. I feel guilty for leaving and I feel like a failure. I wish I could start a business and make piles of cash but that is just a lie. I am an artist and I need to create. I am tired of chasing the “American Dream”. It’s all BS anyways. I can’t save my parents and I can’t live in a room in their house in some vain attempt to help them. It still sucks. My heart hurts. Actually this is the second time I have made a decision that I know is the right thing even though it’s the hardest thing. Sometimes life is real shit, huh?

I have been terribly exhausted lately. Not sure if my meds are dropping my blood sugar and pressure too low (been checking BP and it seems perfectly fine and very good say 130/70 every day). The Actos is making me break out. I can’t stop the black heads on my face and it’s pissing me off. On Monday my allergies went bonkers and on Tuesday I didn’t go into work, just slept all day. I slept all day Saturday. I just couldn’t get out of bed. Maybe the pollen is kicking my ass really hard this year? Maybe I’m just depressed? I really need to get back into a good headspace, this shit is getting me down.

The website is coming along (www.10nw-web.com). I have the K2 styling mostly conquered, most of the content is now updated to the new format. I have a new “latest news, latest fiction” module coming that I hope will be snazzy and fit the look better than the java slider stuff. I have some tweaks coming for styles with K2 CSS plugin and other tweaks. K2 is amazing. I am very happy with the change over.

I have two pending “I owe you” tasks to get off my plate and then I’m free. One secret web site for a publisher (RPG) and generic-rpg.net forum upgrades and tweaks. Once those are complete, I can get to creating In The Shadows of Gaia with a serious push. I owe the publisher some tweaks quickly, and I will try and get those done early this week (I lost my Saturday to sleeping). I just need to roll up my sleeves and get these finished! Also, I will NOT be taking on anymore “projects” until I am satisfied that In The Shadows of Gaia is solid. Except… I am the newly formed Czar of Welcoming for Vegas Gamers.org (Vegas Game Day) which comprises all the responsibility of a Walmart greeter without the vest and stickers. In other words, it’s simple and perfectly fits my personality. I hardly think it will cramp my style at ALL.

I have volunteered to be GM for Pathfinder Society at Vegas Game Day in May. I have a higher tier module and this should prove a good litmus test as to how I feel about organized play. I don’t have a lot of enthusiasm for it. I always feel like the adventures are rushed and railroad-y, but I hear good things about PFS scenarios, so I’m holding off judgment until I have actually ran one. My new living arrangements should give me a place to run a bi-weekly game using the Serpent's Skull adventure path. I think Pathfinder is a solid game and more importantly I am happy to be running a game with such a large pool of players. If my May experience is trying and boring, I will forego PFS on Game Day’s and run other games. There are too many awesome games out there to feel stuck running something I don’t like. On the other hand, if it’s awesome sauce on toast, then I’m all in.

The Sunday game with Jarvis, Kyle, Aakin, Sharon, and sometimes Devon is proving to be a super fun time. Aakin is currently running Qwixalted, and the game is a blast. I enjoy this groups company as we can play games and also wax philosophical on everything from game design to Anthropology to wacky conspiracy theories. Often in the same string of conversation. It keeps my brain engaged.

I am still thinking of taking up illustration and digital art. I am leaning towards making a daily/weekly comic (more like a Manga) and then illustrating my own setting guide and RPG. My mom is a natural and I’m hoping with some insight from books, I can learn to be an illustrator as well. I will use digital tools to my advantage, so I’m not as concerned about “perfection” as I am style and conveying the feeling I am going for. We’ll see. It’s still in the “I’m thinking about it” stage.

Ciao for the moment,

Sunday Blog

2011-04-10T22:58:00.001-07:00

Missed SAT. Sorry Busy weekend!! Saw Hanna and it was spectacular! Well done.

Weighed in on Thursday at 253. That’s a total of 25 pounds lost since JAN. Woot!

Goal this week Gym 4 days. No excuses!!

Have a Pathfinder (PFS) adventure for next month’s Vegas Game Day.

Aakin is one of the best GMs I have played with. He is truly inspiring. The Qwixalted game is Epic and incredibly fun.

Have a great week, probably do a make up post sometime this week.

Good night!

Two Blogs, one man…

2011-04-03T00:42:00.001-07:00

I am only blogging on Blogger (Blogspot) and LiveJournal. I will only announce Blogger posts on Facebook and Twitter. If you follow me on LJ, awesome, you can assume I post to both simultaneously.

What’s going on?

Following the BodyRx workout from A.Scott Connelly M.D. It’s working. First diet and exercise program that is actually working for me!
Lost my OS. Picked up Windows 7. Almost back up and running (few tweaks left…). Ditched MS Office for Star Office. Ditched Outlook for Thunderbird. Still learning stuff. Picked up an external hard drive that auto-backs up my computer. It holds everything! Also, using Macrium Reflect for a C backup, so I can restore the OS quickly, then recover other files.
Been trying to secure my websites and get things back on track. New template on www.10nw-web.com, hopefully easy to read. The website will be clearing house for RPG stuff and fiction. No blogs there. Only blogging on blog sites.
Generic-rpg.net is down. Not sure why the move to the a separate top level add on domain hosed it, but I can’t get back in. My ISP abandoned me over the weekend, so hopefully Monday brings ideas and support to get it back up. Not a shinning moment in my web-mastering efforts.
Working on some Pathfinder stuff for a home game, also for Pathfinder Society for Game Days. I want to run a game people are playing, so hopefully I can cobble together a group of good players (the larger the pool, the pickier we can get…).
I am going to be focusing on my creation stuff and ways to get a little extra cash for my creative efforts. Everything else will be dropped like a rotting corpse. I volunteer for too much crap and I just need to say NO more often. No. No. No.
My doctor has me on Metphormin AND Actos. I am like a walking science experiment for type II diabetes. I think all the artificial sweeteners may be impacting my blood sugar. Stevia does not impact blood sugar. I need to find a a Whey protein powder that is unsweetened, and ditch the EmergenC packets for vitamin C pills, and then find a cold beverage I can enjoy without any other artificial sweeteners but Stevia. Any ideas?
Saturday Blogs. I think Saturday eves will be my blogging time. My hope is to start doing this regularly so people (who want to) can keep up with me.

Good night and have an excellent week!

Testing…

2011-04-01T03:21:00.001-07:00

Trying out my Windows Live Writer posting.

I miss her.

My Web site

Sunday Blog

2010-10-24T22:49:00.001-07:00

A long overdue Sunday blog!

• My Birthday is this Thursday, October 28th!! My parents took me out today and bought me an entire new wardrobe including pants, shirts, belts and shoes. Awesome. :-D I also nabbed a few button up shirts so I could toss out some ratty shirts that needed tossing!
• This Friday is a HUGE Halloween party at work. Vegas.com goes nuts on Halloween and our department is going all out. I am a "pod" leader and we chose Star Trek. We are all dressing like the new 2009 movie crew, creating a paper model of the Enterprise we found online (enlarged 400%, this puppy is nearly 3.5 feet wide by 5 feet long!), and a nebula underneath. We also have a transporter in the corner! Should be crazy fun.
• My good friend Rob H married his lady this week. I had no idea. I am a little miffed that he got married and didn't tell me he WAS getting married. Oh well. I still love you bro, hope all is well and maybe I can get a picture or something. *sad face*
• Gym thing is coming along. Not going as much as I should but I am getting in there in the mornings and I am feeling pretty damn good about it! :-D
• NeonCon 2010 is coming!!! NOV 4 - 7th at the Tropicana hotel. Check it out! I am one of the RPG Coordinators and will be working my butt off all weekend to help make this the AWESOMEST NeonCon EVAR!! :-D http://www.neoncon.com/ I am running 4 scheduled slots and have those games available for Games on Demand as well. It's going to be off the hook.
• I really seriously need to get to my writing and game design. Once NeonCon is over, I am buckling down and getting busy.
• I also have a web site to build in NOV, one to update, and maybe another one to build depending.
• My parents are visiting WA for Thanksgiving. I get to hang out here with myself. I am going to have a turkey feast at some awesome restaurant here in town, maybe watch some movies, and just enjoy.
• I should be getting a new Android smart phone here soon! I am excited. I want GPS, and web browsing, and social media updates, and picture uploads. Also info on the fly.
• The new Saturday RPG group had the first meeting yesterday! A good crew of people. Looks like some fun should be had by all with a plethora of GMs to rotate through! Much gaming madness will ensue!

That is all for now!

Clearing things up.

2010-01-10T20:47:00.000-08:00

I made some announcements last year, over the years, and otherwise and I want to clear up what I am up to.

I have no idea.

Anything less would be a complete lie, idealist proclamation, or simply manic adrenaline lowering my already compromised "filters". I am in this to live. I am tired of the drive inside me to always be "doing something" or having some "great thing" on the horizon. So no more.

I am not doing anything with music right now. I get the urge sometimes, but I am just dabbling right now. I have no ambitions regarding anything, so it's just here until I figure out what I want.

I am not running or playing GURPS. I want to, I would, but frankly it's too much crunch for what I want right now. I am going to run a FATE 3.0 game of some flavor and see where that takes me. I have the possibility of a regular Saturday thing at my place, so I look forward to forming friendships and having some gaming fun.

I may or may not write up my setting and may or may not continue with the fiction if I decide that is the route I want to take. I may dabble with it as I feel the call.

The ONLY goal I have this year is to get into shape. Once I have dropped the fat, wrangled in my diabetes, defeated the sleep apnea, and conquered the blood pressure; I don't make any promises. Anything that gets in the way of that will be dropped/killed/fired/eliminated/destroyed with extreme prejudice.

Once I accomplish this goal I will reassess where I'm at. See how I feel and I what I want to do with the rest of my life.

Just thought you all might want to know. :-D

My Roleplaying Purity Score

2009-11-23T00:06:00.001-08:00

Trentin C Bergeron's Ultimate Roleplaying Purity Score
Category	Your Score	Average
Hacklust	48.11% Will kill for XP	53.6%
Sensitive Roleplaying	32.91% All the game's your stage	54.7%
GM Experience	41.3% Puts the players through the wringer	69.3%
Systems Knowledge	85.17% Played in a couple of campaigns	90.4%
Livin' La Vida Dorka	50.57% Has interesting conversations in public	63.3%
You are 54.72% pure Average Score: 68.8%
Take The Ultimate Roleplaying Purity Test and see how you match up! (By The Ferrett)

2009-10-28T05:45:00.001-07:00

Happy Birthday to me. Happy Birthday to me.

I drank to much Soda.

So I'm going to go pee.

:-D

Sunday Blog about Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness

2009-10-04T13:18:00.000-07:00

Just finished watching The Brothers Bloom. Perfect story. Incredible. I highly recommend it.

Had a couple interviews on Thursday. I think they went well. I am hoping to have a couple opportunities to consider on Monday. :-D It will be nice to not worry about money.

I am getting close to wanting to find love again. Almost ready. It's been awhile since I had a dream with the ex in it. Don't really think about her anymore. Can't remember her face. Almost ready.

Loving Dollhouse, Trauma was good, House, Flashback, and the pilot for Stargate Universe was awesome. Some good TV on!

This Monday I am going to start my routine with or without a job. Just carve out time for the potential 9 - 5 in there. Wake up, work out, eat breakfast, {do something during the day}, come home; meditate to get into relaxed mode and then TV or writing or reading.

Saturday morning starts with another workout. Then I can spend the weekends writing, creating music, playing games, watching movies or whatever else I fancy. I want to make a commitment to get in shape and let the rest come as it hits me (or tickles my fancy or whatever). :-D

Ciao till next week...

Sunday Blog about Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness

2009-09-28T01:06:00.000-07:00

I have been terribly negligent in updating the blog. I am going to try and remedy that. Again.

For those of you that know me, some of this will make sense. For those of you who kind of know me, this will make me look weak and self-absorbed, and I apologize for that.

I found a job at HSI (Holiday Systems International). QA Engineer. The place was pure chaos with an evil CEO who suffered from bi-polar disorder, Tourette Syndrome, and thought that technology was magic and you could order new whole software systems like you order a cheeseburger at the drive thru. Not the brightest candle on the Yule Tree until he threw a temper tantrum and burnt the Yule tree down. Neat guy.

So I quit. Now, WA State is reviewing my unemployment claim. Probably get denied because I quit. I have officially as of this blog, gone completely broke. BUT, my parents are helping out with bills so I don't lose my car or COBRA or my bank account doesn't bounce like it was a ball of stupid evil bankiness coated in rubber. Such is life.

I had an phone interview and now and in-person interview tomorrow with a local web-based travel company (yes, this industry is big here in Vegas... :-D). Wish me luck. Hopefully this will turn into a decent full-time position with benefits that will take the financial stress off without adding a new dimension in employment stress. Also, as a side note, if you're in the Vegas area looking for a job, check out Phoenix Staffing. Jennaya Fernane is one of THE best recruiters I have ever worked with. Top notch people.

I updated the web site! Joomla 1.5.14 and a gorgeous template from Rocket Theme. I am really loving it but every security update from Joomla breaks components! I have the basics going now and will add more bells and whistles once all the developers are on the same track. At least I have Captcha security working. I hate the SPAM!!!

I have re-written Nothing Chance, my attempt at a serial web fiction piece for my In The Shadows of Gaia setting; a dark futuristic universe of magic infused technology. It's posted on the new web site! I need to touch up the ending which should be parts 6 - 8 (I am guessing) and then on to the real story that will be a mixture of the present (in the setting) and flashbacks slowly colliding together to reach the truth. I am hoping to get into a routine soon where I can keep my promise of a weekday web series.

I Found an RPG system in Master Craft (Fantasy Craft to be specific) from Crafty Games that I think is going to give me my balance of crunch, familiarity (for the players), and license-ability. So far I am really impressed.

I finally surrendered trying to get Campaign Cartographer (CC3) working on Vista. I installed Virtual Server, created a VM, installed XP SP 2, updated to SP 3 with all updates, and finally got CC3 working. It's slower but at least it works. Someday Pro Fantasy will get their act together and make my $500 + investment something I can be proud of. Until then my ass hurts and I am a hostage to Pro Fantasy's business plan. If you have XP or access to XP, the program rules. It's just the install/platform limitations that piss me off.

My game plan as of this blog; subject to change on my whim because I am a flaky emotional artist trying to pretend to be normal in a world that is NOTHING close to normal. M'Kay?

Get a regular job.

Write my fiction and flesh out my sci-fi fantasy setting. Publish it on my web site!

Create a fantasy setting with several adventures for Fantasy Craft to establish my publishing company (again) and kick the tires on the system. I have CC3 working with Virtual Server (VM) so I can do some cartography as well.

Form a regular roleplaying group here to go through my campaigns before I publish them. Also to have some FUN for 6 hours every weekend.

Eventually Crafty Games will come out with a Science Fiction rules-set for Master Craft and I smash Fantasy and Sci-Fi together and fit that to my setting and publish it as a game.

The above activities should give me plenty of experience with Adobe, especially In Design so I can do my own layout work.

Pay off all my debts.

Work out 6 days a week (M-Sat). Get into shape.

Be approached to turn my setting into a TV show or movie (or both!).

Become a smashing successful creative talent in Hollywood making ridiculous sums of money for my dark imagination.

Make sense? Good. Because I may need some help deciphering it later when I get off track. Thanks!

Yes, I have been fighting my depression. I have lost a few battles recently. I know many people believe that saying everything is going to be OK or saying "just snap out of it" or "do something" or whatever has the best intentions in mind. But it's not that easy. I am trying. I am slowly winning the battle, but the setbacks at this stage can be mind-numbing and devastating. Just bear with me. I am sure I will get back on track soon.

Ciao for now and I will TRY very hard to update more frequently.

- Trent

It's a ... Job!!

2009-06-25T21:41:00.001-07:00

So, after much soul searching, I have decided I want to get debt free before I become a total broke loser. In that pursuit...

I have a job!!

Holiday Systems International

Software QA Engineer. That's right I am back in the QA saddle. I am excited for this opportunity. They need someone to come in and establish automation and some processes. Ground up kind of stuff.

It's going to be challenging but it's an opportunity to get back on top of things financially.

I will have more soon, I start MON or TUE. Wish me luck!!

- Trent

Test Email Post

2009-06-08T18:32:00.001-07:00

Just checking how this works AND seeing if it updates my Facebook.

...

The Indiana Torture Slaying (1966)

2009-05-16T01:48:00.001-07:00

I just finished watching An American Crime. About 6 weeks ago I watched The Girl Next Door.

An American Crime (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0802948/)

The Girl Next Door (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0830558/)

The first one is more accurate and includes details from the trial. The second is based on a book that was "inspired" by the same crime; although if the movie is any indication of the brutality in the book, Jack Ketchum has taken this message to an unwelcome low.

An article on the actual crime (http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/notorious_murders/young/likens/1.html)

I don't know what to say. I am very sad right now. I honesty have not felt emotionally sicker in my life.

And that's a good thing.

People might decry these movies as "sensationalist perversions" but I vehemently disagree. You will not make it 5 seconds into any of the brutal scenes with your "perversion" intact; unless you are truly broken. I have read the trutv article (24 pages) and I am not the only one numbed and disgusted by this; it seems many have scoured the internet in dismay searching for some answer.

Guess what? There is no answer. No reason. It's simply unthinkable. Lord of Flies. Times one thousand.

I am glad we are remembering Sylvia and what happened to her. Maybe the next time someone hears screaming next door, or sees something inappropriate or concerning, or GOD FORBID, some poor child comes to us and TELLS US they are being abused, perhaps we won't just ignore it like a bunch of fucking cowards. Perhaps we'll do something about it.

Pay attention! Do something!

I just wish Sylvia Marie Likens didn't have to endure such unspeakable acts and ultimately her death to impress that upon us.

Maybe I just feel guilty because there was a moment in my life when I felt strongly that I should have done something, and I didn't. Perhaps I am just feeling the sting, and having conveniently swept it away with the same moronic dismissal as all those people around her, am now realizing just how much of a coward I was. And what it might have caused. Or what I might have prevented. I don't know. I hate feeling like this. But I think Sylvia deserves at least one night of my guilt and sorrow.

And for me to remember.

RPG Book Sale!!

2009-04-21T17:10:00.000-07:00

Blowing some stuff off my shelves.

Iron Kingdoms 7 book Full Set

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&item=230338512135

Arcana Evolved 6 Book Set

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&item=230338513173

Ubiquity Set (Hollow Earth + Desolation + 3 Ubiquity Dice
Sets)

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&item=230338513845

BESM Third Edition

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&item=230338514598

Check out my auctions and make a bid!! :D

Sunday Blogs!

2009-04-19T15:46:00.001-07:00

Sunday Blogs!

This week is the first week of learning for me. I feel settled and ready to go. First Adobe tools then music tools.

I am officially broke. I start filing this week for unemployment and I am feeling very wary about my income. Everyone tells me it's going to be ok, but it's hard to feel ok until I get to ok. You know?

I will sign up for the gym when I get some money (either from severance last check or unemployment). I found an Anytime Fitness very close by. Easy breezy beautiful.

I think I am going to work on my own site and my own music for now. I think being an artist is more important to me than being a business person. Not feeling like being all businessy. I am going to just create. CREATE!

I miss everyone in Washington. I really do.

Also, I must do some job hunting. I get my resume updated when I get some cash and I will be submitting for some local stuff here this week. It is a requirement of unemployment so I will follow the rules. :-D

That is all this week.

Sunday Blogs (On Monday) !!

2009-04-13T16:25:00.000-07:00

We made it to Las Vegas! Henderson to be exact. Pops and I drove 1347 miles in 23 hours!! We took shifts and it was grueling but we are alive. The bedroom is all setup and I am ready to get learning. It's 75 - 80 degrees here (a PNW summer)!! My skin is drying out; I am getting a few heat rashes and drinking gallons of water. It's going to take me a few months to get used to this.

It looks like True Blue as screwed up my health insurance. I sent in my COBRA paperwork but something got crossed in the mail. I can't get anyone in the benefits department to answer the phone!! ARG!!! I am pulling out my hair.

It also looks like my apartment manager is going to charge me for carpet cleaning, blind cleaning, and a broken window. I reported the cracked window several times BUT because it wasn't on my move in report, they are going to screw me. My attorney will get involved. I am not going to take this one lying down.

I am getting my car licensed and registered in NV tomorrow and getting my license. I have a room air conditioner on the way because the computer makes my room like 85 degrees!! Blah. I am melting. My bed should be here tomorrow so I can finally sleep in my room versus the guest bed!

I found one of those Anytime Fitness gyms just up the street so I should be working out very soon.

I am stressed out a tad. Just the unknown, no job prospects, and the fighting with work and apartments have me unsettled. Once I get things organized, I will be able to relax and get into a routine.

WED I get to hang with Chris at GAMA!! THUR is dinner with Amy! I am excited to see friends.

You can See pictures of the car loaded and the new studio on my Flickr Photostream: http://www.flickr.com/photos/55223383@N00/

More to follow soon!

Fuck Corporate America

2009-03-13T01:40:00.000-07:00

So. What does it mean? I feel like a chapter has ended in my life. I gave the corporate thing a go. Something I thought I wanted. Security. Money. In the end, it was all bullshit. They cut me loose without so much as a "Thanks" or time to say goodbye. Unceremonious. They even suckered me in with some innocuous sounding meeting then sprung it on me. "I have a script, so I don't screw this up". He says. "Do to the economic downturn the company has been forced to make deeper cuts. Effectively immediately your employment is terminated". I am glad I went numb because I feared this and I was afraid I would have a heart attack. Somewhere inside me I had surrendered long ago. It wasn't as much surprising as it was expected. I thought to myself - this is typical. Of course I am being screwed. Could this have gone any other way?

I have to be the biggest idiot on the planet. I keep believing, I keep hoping, I keep trusting and I keep getting screwed. Our society has reached that magic point where the superficial now outweighs the substance. In droves. We are heartless soulless peasants who just float along with the current, spending our money like good little whores, losing all knowledge of loyalty, commitment, integrity, honor, or family. Just shells. Shills. Peasant whores.

I wonder if my bosses really knew what value I brought to them. I hardly felt they measured my work so much as they hounded me to deadlines. The all mighty date. The ignorant and uninformed upper leadership would draw some arbitrary line in the sand, more aligned with their political promises and blood money, and then expect the experts to try and jam all their greedy idiocy into a compressed, unrealistic schedule. I am not going to miss stupid bosses. I am not going to miss being a number.

So, I ask. What does it mean? When unemployment hits 10+%, and we can only replace it with some minimum wage job, and we lose everything, and there is no more credit, and everyone has been kicked out their homes by the banks, and the banks have fleeced us for every dime, and our taxes are so high we have to choose between working or eating, and all the rich laugh all the way to their ivory towers leaving the rest of us behind to fester and rot. Then what? Why are we doing this? Why are we playing along?

Fuck them. I will never trust them again. I will never give myself to them again. I will not be some peasant whore for the pleasure of people who are morally bankrupt soulless greedy heartless pig fuckers. Fuck corporate America. Fuck the soulless demons that run it, and support it, and pillage, rape, and destroy in its name. I am going to start my own business. I am going to live small and get out from the heal of the fascist pig fuckers. You haven't stopped me. You can take all my shit, take my credit score, take my money, but you can't take my heart and soul. Fuck you, you can't take me.

Fuck you Corporate America. I am free.

Laid Off

2009-03-04T16:46:00.000-08:00

Today I join the ranks of the Labor Ready/True Blue Inc. Alumni. I was let go today as my position has been eliminated. They are making deeper cuts. I love True Blue and I am going to miss that place. I have learned a great deal there, and have become the Computer Nerd I am today because of it.

So, I am taking the rest of the week off! Then this weekend the resume goes back online and I start making some inquiries. MON is beat the street day and I am NOT looking back.

Wish me luck on my new adventures!

David L Moore - Gods Speed with Love

2009-01-08T23:35:00.000-08:00

It is with the heaviest of hearts that I post this today. Earlier this morning, our good friend David took his own life. He leaves behind his wonderful wife Liz and beautiful 18 month old daughter Isabel. I cannot express in words the deep sorrow that this has left with his circle of friends, family, and more significantly, his wife and daughter.

We are still in shock, trying to figure out why. There was no indication that David was experiencing this kind of depression or challenge in his life. It simply has taken us completely by surprise and left us all wanting for answers or a reason to an unreasonable act. It is simply way out of character for David and today has had a surreal feeling, leaving us all confused and exhausted.

Our circle of friends has rallied around Liz to support her and Isabel in this terrible moment. The love and concern is tremendous, and I am confident they will be well taken care of. We simply love Liz and Isabel too much to even consider not helping them with every measure we can.

This suicide has impressed upon me, so much more so, how precious life is and how important every moment in our lives are; to take every opportunity to tell the people around us that we love them. To take the time to tell those we appreciate in our lives, just how important they are to us. To open our hearts to the people we trust, so that we don't have to believe we are alone or that those we love can't help us.

Our deepest sorrow? Believing that David kept these troubles so close to himself that we didn't have the chance to help. To embrace him, and reassure him, and show him just how important and worthy and loved he was. What we would give right now to just have one more chance to talk to him, to alleviate his pain, and maybe even save his life. It is not fair to take on this burden of course, it was David's choice, but something so final and abrupt; it is only natural for us to disbelieve our circumstance and embrace our wishful hopes.

David was a great father and husband. He was so kind and thoughtful. His geeky excitement for new technologies and challenges was infectious; his normally calm and collected demeanor melting away, showing the bright eyed boyish charm that filled our hearts with warm appreciation. He seemed like the stoic rock, the perfect blend of sarcasm and intelligence, who could handle his wife's spirited nature with aplomb. I am going to miss that signature down-looking smile he greeted me with every time I visited; his humility and thoughtfulness that lent such a strong foundation to our circle of friends.

David - I hope and wish you find more peace and happiness in the Here After than you felt you had here. May the Gods watch over you, and bless you on your journey, and bless and keep Liz and Isabel in the trying days to come. I will deeply miss you. We will all deeply miss you.

Sincerely with Love,

ARG. I can't do it!

2009-01-06T04:53:00.000-08:00

I lied. I can't give up the gaming stuff. It's just too much a part of me now. It was seriously depressing me and I only took a week off. Ug. The most important thing is to form a habit and get into shape. Too much change is going to derail me. So here are my (revised) priorities for the year.

1) Get in shape (daily workout, reduce calories).

2) Music stuff (learn tools, write, enjoy).

3) Play some games (dump theory, writing, debate, and anything not Play related. Focus on fun.).

I think I am going to create a small group for a SAT game. Possibly drop by The Game Matrix for board games on TUE nights here and there. I just need to focus on a simple game and having fun. I am not going to post in forums for now, or get tied down in debate or theory. Just find a group of fun players, pick a game, and run it.

I am not so worried about my writing at this point either. I want to pour my creative soul into the music. It's more cathartic and I can express myself better with it. So the writing goes on the back burner (can't do everything).

Just thought I would share my PATHETIC attempt, humiliating breaking of the resolution, and coming to terms with WHO I am. Trent needs RPGs. So it will be. :-D

Ciao for now,

Happy New Year!

2009-01-01T21:18:00.000-08:00

It's 2009. It's strange, but today I just stopped feeling sorry for myself and got motivated. It's was like a fever breaking. I can't explain it, but it was certainly about fucking time! This year I am going to get focused.

1) I am going to get rid of all this FAT and get my health back. Get into shape. I am finished with FAT Trent.
2) Music. I just set my studio back up and I am gearing up to work on music AGAIN. Once I have all this technology down like pissing, I will then start shopping for projects I can produce. I don't want a band. I want to write music, make my music, and maybe work with some talent later this year. That's my dream anyways.
3) Writing. I am going to focus on my setting and then work on a serial web piece. This is not going to have anything to do with an RPG. Just the twisted dark tales stuck in my head based on the twisted dark setting that just popped into it about 5 years ago.

The rules this year are simple:

1) No obligations outside my goals. Focus on this shit, not other people's shit.
2) No Roleplaying. No visiting RPG forums. No buying RPG stuff. The focus is on health, music, and writing. Why you may ask? Because I'm burnt out. Part of the panache of this hobby for me was the human interaction. I can't get into a group or form a group that I can stand to be around for more than a few weeks. Each new book or system I read is just uninspiring. I just don't have the desire or motivation to make it work anymore. I think I may actually be DONE with it. More and more I am becoming reclusive, and I just don't have the patience to deal with the melodrama and crap. I need to refocus, and find Trent again. Maybe a few years from now, I will check back in, and see how I feel.
3) No crazy projects at work. Work\life balance WITHOUT guilt. It's not these people are going to care more. I know, I gave up more than half this year to work and I am no better off than when I started (my delusion).
4) Did I mention - NO obligations outside my goals!!

In other news:

My sister can't pay for the car loan I co-signed (yes, I know, don't do that...). So, I am hoping she can pay for the car, but for now, I can't get any financing and the car is upside down by $7000.00, so it looks like I am making payments until I can get my credit rating back up. I told her if she gets insurance and pays for that she can drive it. I took the car back and parked it, since my insurance won't cover her (only covers other people that live in my household). When she does take it back, she will make what payment she can every month. I will set up auto pay. If she pays me, awesome! Extra money that month! If not, well I guess that's the price you pay for being a big brother AND being stupid enough to co-sign a loan. I don't care. I have shit to get focused on, so that's what I want to dwell on.

The economy sucks giant horse balls. If I hear downsizing, "right" sizing, or bail ONE MORE TIME out I am going to puke. It's a fucking tragedy watching the American people get fleeced. Disgusting. Tragedy. GOD I cannot wait until Obama gets in there, settled, and on with his rational leadership! I must admit I have more hope than I usually allow myself.

I watched Smart People last night. It was good and well-acted. It just left me, I don't know, hanging I guess. Apathetic maybe? Not sure, but it was strange. Again, the characters were incredible, so in that regards it was fun. Also watched The Last Sentinel, a sci-fi movie with Katie Sackhoff in it. Stupid. Horrible movie. I am trying to figure out what Ms. Sackhoff was doing in it. Was that like a mercy thing for a director friend? Wow. Seriously BAD.

I am going to try and keep up my blogging this year. Just post my life on the InterWebs for people to read. Ramble. Maybe post some of my fiction or music. Who knows?

Happy New Year!!!

Email Post

2008-09-25T23:49:00.000-07:00

And this is my first from email post. Just had to test it, this is cool. :-D

Trentin C Bergeron (TreChriron)

Bard, Dreamer, Computer Nerd, & RPG Enthusiast

October Northwest

Open Core Fansite & Forums!

First Blog!

2008-09-25T23:32:00.001-07:00

My first blog on blog spot. I will start updating this one with all my other blogs when I get some time!